As I’m grading my daughter’s homeschool math, I can think of the 99 other things I need to do while I have this nagging push to write. I really am not feeling anything to write today. I’m a little worn out spiritually from having to fight spiritually all the time. Key the strings—insert sad violin music. Sometimes I think to myself “can I just have a break from riding the struggle bus for a while.” I love writing, and it’s so much fun, but it’s hard sometimes to keep going when you can’t yet see the results that you feel God calling you to produce.
I put down the red pen and follow the prompting of the Lord to pick up my computer and write what is in my heart right now. I need to pour out my thoughts and honestly, the clicks of the keyboard are therapeutic to me. I have this goal from God to be consistent with my writing. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but I’m practicing staying consistent despite obstacles that get in the way. I had this blog post planned out to write about rebuilding and the linking together of Nehemiah and the Jews to rebuild the wall-epic revelation in my mind. But for some reason, I wasn’t feeling like it was the post for today. So I follow the small promptings of the Lord to write this instead.
What am I really feeling right now? Well, the truth is I’m feeling defeated, impatient and quite frankly, a little moody. I really want to make a big impact to help people through my writing. There are so many people hurting and I want to give them the push they need to keep going. Maybe what someone needs to see is the realness of today or that despite the struggle, I keep fighting with faith through the hard things to do what God is calling me to do. That even though I know I’m being mocked, I keep doing it for the one person that needs to feel seen. I see you. You are not alone. The opposition will come but God is faithful. We just need to keep pressing forward. Run at your giant!
Rebuilding is hard and frustrating sometimes, especially when you don’t see the immediate results. We know that our work is not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58). God is still producing in the dark. Even though you don’t see the results or progress right now doesn’t mean it’s not there. We have to lay down our expectations and make room for whatever God wants to do with it. God called us to it and fruit will grow, but in the meantime, we have to be willing to endure and persevere. The grapes grow best with a few rocks around. Look it up. I learned through my women’s Bible study this week that grapevines grow the tastiest fruit with a few stones in the good soil.
We have our grand plan for the way things should go, but the good grapes need a few stones to get in the way for us to produce the good stuff. That stone in your way is the very thing that will cause you to press out the better wine.
So today, I encourage you to endure the pressure and obstacles in your way because you my friend are creating very tasty fruit that will be enjoyed by many.