Invisible Girl

Invisible Girl

December 9, 2020

Dear Invisible Girl, 

Yes, you…the girl hidden in the dark.  You hide because you are afraid to show the broken you. You feel trapped, desperate for peace and are lying on the floor lifeless, unable to pick yourself back up. You’re so tired of fighting this battle and are on the verge of giving up. You fight but are barely hanging on by a thread. The pain is encapsulating you, and it’s too hard to breathe.  The thoughts of defeat, despair and doubt shatter your hope. It’s ten in the morning and you already need to sleep.  Your mind, body and soul are worn out.  Jesus whispers to you, “My dear, rest.  I’ve got it under control.”  The truth is you are tired of resting.  Resting is all you have know lately and purpose seems lost in the rest. 

My heart weeps thinking of you because not too long ago this was me.  For over twelve years I was the broken girl battling chronic illness, a devastated marriage and trying to be a good mom in the middle of suffering.  I felt forgotten.  

You, my sweet one, are not alone.  I see you.  I too was battle-torn, beaten, battered, and tired of fighting.  The last decade for me was one big storm…chronic Illness, marriage trauma and stress, financial ruin and a daughter witnessing it all. It seemed like the relief would never come.  The battle just would not end. 

Will your pain ever end, you ask?  Will there ever be relief from the storm you are in?  If you are like I was, you are wondering and maybe even asking God to just end it all.  You want to end the pain by any means necessary.  It feels like the end. 

Friend, I am here to shine light to you in your dark place.  You are not alone and hope is not lost.  Though you suffer now nothing compares to the glory that is to come (Romans 8:18-25). 

I want you to stop everything you are doing and pause for a minute.  I want you to think of a butterfly.

What happens to a butterfly before it flies?  

The Old Caterpillar Body Has To Die So That A New Body Of A Butterfly Can Be Formed.  Then, The Butterfly Has To Sit In The Dark Of A Cocoon Resting Until The Reveal Of The Transformation.    

I remember my season of rest and waiting oh so well.  I felt alone in the dark of my cocoon.  I was desperate for a transformation of my life and needed it right then.  What I couldn’t see then, that God has revealed to me now, is that when we are waiting and it seems like God is not near, you are actually in the cocoon being transformed.  He has a plan you can’t see.  

Just Like The Butterfly, You Can’t See What’s Going On In The Dark Cocoon, But You Can Know And Trust God Is Creating Something BEautiful—Your Story.

He did it for me, and I promise you that He is working all things for your good and His glory right now through your pain (Romans 8:28).

I know you want to know when the pain will stop and what is ahead.  I can tell you that the pain you feel will not be wasted.  You are being transformed for your good, the good of others and for His glory.  The resting God wants for you has a purpose. The pain you have faced is what creates the beautiful colors and uniqueness of your story.  If you wait with peace and trust Jesus in the dark, the beauty from the pain will be revealed at the perfect time.

Did you know the environment needs to be ideal for the butterfly to come out of the cocoon?  If the butterfly comes out of the cocoon when the environment is not ideal it will not survive and flourish like it was intended.

The process of transformation is miraculous.  Creating takes time and you, my dear, are the most beautiful of them all.  Give it time and rest so that what God is creating in you and for you will be all God planned it to be. 

Don’t cheat yourself by trying to break out of the cocoon before it’s time. I know it’s lonely and dark in your cocoon. 

The nagging frustration of not being able to break through the cocoon is wearing you out.  Rest and be restored.  Do not fight the transformation.  Have peace and know that our Heavenly Father is good and faithful to release you at the proper time.  You will not be left in your cocoon forever.  You really do want all God has planned for you, and it will be worth the wait.  

The Butterfly Will Fly.

God transformed me, and I came out of my cocoon flying.  After twelve years of severe chronic illness, Jesus healed me miraculously like the bleeding woman in Luke 8.  My marriage and finances have been restored!  My sweet daughter witnessed God’s faithfulness through it all and is excited to be all in for Jesus!  It is possible.  Life change happens with and through Jesus.  Seek Him first and let go of going to the world first for solutions.  He has answers for your unique journey. 

He designed my journey to be one of miraculous healing and redemption to reveal hope and His glory. I know you feel invisible and hidden right now.  Each of us have a unique story God is creating. You will be transformed and released in God’s timing. Right now you can shine that story for His glory.  God is the only one who knows when you will come out of the cocoon.  You WILL come out healed!   It may be now or later in eternity with Jesus, but it WILL happen. Either way you have a unique story He will use to help others. He will be glorified through His creation and the transformation of you in that dark place.  

God uses awe and wonder to bring us close to Him, revealing Him to us.  Butterflies bring awe and wonder.  They are glimmers of hope and beauty in a broken world.  You are like the butterfly-a glimmer of hope even in your dark place. It’s your turn to bring hope and light even in the pain, and I’m excited to see Him revealed through you.    


Jesus, I pray for this beautiful woman reading this.  She is hurting and desperate for You to reach Your arms around her and hold her.  Please give her perfect peace—the peace that only comes from You.  The peace You gave me and more.  Create a masterpiece through her story and help her to rest in You.  Keep her from the torment of darkness.  Renew her mind.  Let her see You in this season the same way You revealed Yourself  to me.  Give her something special the way You sent butterflies to me in my season of transition.  You are so sweet Jesus, and I pray for Your sweetness all around her right now.  Thank you for transforming me and raising me back up to shine Your light.  Raise this woman to shine Your light and beauty to all.  Hug her for me!  I pray this in your precious name, Jesus.  Amen!

Jeremiah 30: 17-20 “But I Will Bring You Health And Will Heal You Of Your Wounds—This Is The Lord’s Declaration—For They Call You Outcast, Zion Whom No One Cares About.  This Is What The Lord Says:  I Will Certainly Restore The Fortunes Of Jacob’s Tents And Show Compassion On His Dwellings.  Every City Will Be Rebuilt On Its Mound; Every Citadel Will Stand On Its Proper Site.  Thanksgiving Will Come Out Of Them, A Sound Of Rejoicing.  I Will Multiply Them, And They Will Not Decrease; I Will Honor Them, And They Will Not Be Insignificant.  His Children Will Be As In Past Days; His Congregation Will Be Established In My Presence.  I Will Punish All His Oppressors.”

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